Sonic The Hedgehog: New Coat of Paint, Same Lemon

Eric Galan, Editor in Chief

After 8 months of waiting, Paramount finally released the new design and trailer for the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Working as fast as the title, character animators have given a new, more cartoon-like look that is leagues above the original CG Sonic from April’s trailer.

And, as far as the trailer is concerned, everything seems to be a step up from the first trailer. The acting is nicer, the plot seems to have magically popped into existence even the comedy is coming more from other characters instead of just Jim Carrey. Things finally seem to be looking up for the blue ball of speed.

However, we should not forget some simple facts. That first trailer was awful. While Sonic looked ugly the amount of bad in the film ran deeper than the skin of the original design’s human teeth.

Sonic wasn’t funny, James Marsden wasn’t, and still isn’t, funny, the plot was almost non-existent, and much of the CGI doesn’t hold up even after you look past the Hedgehog’s design. The film looked dead on arrival before we even saw the bloated corpse of a protagonist.

And all that was changed was a little makeover for Sonic. Nothing about the plot or characters was fixed and it shows through in the trailer. Jokes still fall flat, Schwartz is giving it his all but it still feels hollow. And does James Marsden even look like he wants to be in that film?!

And, just like before, we’re still going to see it and still going to be disappointed with the movie. It’s hard to not want this to be good but there’ll always be a soul crushing thought that it’s another bad 90’s/’00s movie that’ll not be worth our time and just be forgotten until some meme reignites the memory in like 10 years.

It almost feels like a step backwards again. Like all the good Zootopia and Rango did with character and all the good the new SpongeBob or Scooby Doo movies look is still being slide tackled by the reanimated ghosts of Alvin and the Chipmunks or Hop. The wounds of the Super Mario Bros movie have yet to be re-opened but they’re starting to ache again and the bad taste of lesser Disney and kids films is growing in the back of our throats again.

What was obvious from the start is that this was a cash grab. But many cash grabs have become Oscar worthy films because they were given the love and thought needed to make a good movie. And, despite the new trailer being much better than the first, much better than terrible is just okay.