Dealing with Grief During the Holidays


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Nayeli Vargas, Opinion Editor

It’s hard to begin describing how it feels to lose a loved one. It’s even harder to say how it feels to lose a loved one during the pandemic that we are currently in. 

Now imagine that, but during the holidays. 

I’m going to reiterate what many people told me in the days past my uncle’s murder, there are simply no words. 

It’s a different type of pain. One where one minute you’re okay, and the next you’re not. Coping with the loss of a loved one can cause major emotional distress and can change your life forever. 

“The death of a loved one has been recognized as the greatest life stressor that we face as humans, heading the list of stressful life events… quantify the relationship between life events that require an ongoing adjustment (e.g., chronic stress) and the timing of illness onset”, stated by Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD on Grief: A brief history of research about how mind, body, and brain adapt.

Everyone is different, everyone has a different way of dealing with traumatic events in their life. Don’t feel as if you have to cry every day, however don’t feel as if you cannot move on. 

If you’re a student, wife, and a full time worker like myself, it’s easy to stray from the daily routine and go down a path of self destructive behavior. I could choose not to do my homework, I could choose to not go to work. But I still did. 

I chose to stay busy and remain strong because I honestly felt as if that was my only option. It still is. I know I’m ignoring my feelings sometimes. I know this isn’t healthy, but I’m trying and that’s all I can do at this point. 

Whomever you lost, it’s personal to you and your life. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You don’t have to lock yourself in a shell. How you grieve is personal and unique to you as a person. 

There is no specific time frame or a magic number of months or years where you will automatically be okay

It’s okay not to be okay. 

The past few weeks have taught me that life is too short to not do the things you love, and just because life goes on doesn’t mean that that person is forgotten. Your loved one will forever live in your heart and in your memories. 

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